Celebration of Life and What Dreams May Come

"We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us"

-- Joseph Campbell

Tomorrow is Micah's 9th birthday.  We had a birthday dinner with Rich's side of the family on Sunday.  He got an awesome Minecraft Cake!  Tomorrow I will be taking cupcakes for his class.  Saturday he and his cousin will have a co-birthday at the bowling alley with friends from school.

We had an issue today when his Great-grandfather send him a card and five dollars.  I don't know when we will learn to be more strategic with things like this.  As soon as he opened it, he wanted to go to the Dollar Tree and spend it.  No amount of convincing could make him understand that the most logical thing to do would be to save it until the weekend to see if he got any other money.  Then he could put the money together and buy something better than a $1.00 toy or 5 $1.00 toys that would be broken in a few short days.  The meltdown lasted about a half an hour - lots of "you don't care about my birthday" and "you just want to torture me".  Lots of hitting himself on the head and throwing rocks at my head.  (We were trying to take a nice family walk at the lake)  Needless to say it turned into a fiasco!  I was able to get the $5 back in my possession during one of his diva moments where he threw the money in the lake.  I was able to fish it out and put the soggy mess in my pocket (all without falling in - that is impressive, knowing my klutzy nature).

So far his birthday celebration has had some ups and downs but tonight I am struggling with something much deeper than cake and balloons.  My child is about to be 9.  His grandparents have asked me what they should get for him.  I'd really like for them to give him something that is not tangible and won't break in a couple weeks to a month.  But, bottom line: I just don't know.  At 9, most kids are involved in something - church group, sports, Cub Scouts, music lessions....

Micah's main interest, dare I say only interest, is in electronics/video games.  If it has a controller or buttons to push and he can be in control - that is what he wants to be doing.  I am having a real issue with this.  I know that video games are a typical male interest, but it is not usually their only obssession.  I worry that if we don't find him a broader range of interests he will continue down a narrow path of isolation. I know that he has a creative side in him and like others in my family, including myself this is a way to release and find solace within. The hard part is figuring out his mode of creativity.

I have mentioned several ideas to my parents of "out of the box" gifts that they could give him.  Guitar lessons, gymnastics, Kung Fu, art lessons, lego camp.  They said they are willing to do whatever we want.  The problem is that we can't decide on anything.  Don't get me wrong, I have no irrational dreams of this sweet child ever playing a sport.  He made it clear early on that he had no desire.  (My other child can't wait to put a helmet on and a ball in his hands)  I just draw such a blank when it comes to Micah.  When we talk through each idea there are always barriers - what if he hates it and we have wasted the money.  What if he gets mad at the instructor and throws the guitar and breaks it.  What if Kung Fu back fires and he uses it in ways that are contradictory from that which it is intended.  There are risks associated with any of these ideas but should that mean we never try them? 

I just want to find a way to bring him more joy.  But maybe my struggle is in trying to create a future for him that does not and potentially, will not ever exist.  Maybe the road he chooses to walk cannot be easily explored within a functioning extra-curricular.  This is just not where I thought we would be with him at 9 years old.  A friend of mine once told me that I may have to dream a different kind of dream for Micah, given his challenges.  I believe that is true.  However, believing it and being able to let go enough to do it - two different things.

When asked what he wanted for his birthday he did say "I want to go to Atlantis" - you know, the all inclusive vacation destination.  Yeah, me too buddy.  Me too.  I guess that is a dream we can both share!



Happy Birthday Micahboo!  We love the snot out of you!
Whatever path you choose - we will support every step,
although you may have to tell your momma to not be so controlling!