I'm sorry for what I said while in detox

Day 2 -

It’s a good thing I was off work today because I was an emotional hot mess!

I went to the doctor for a check-up this morning. I let him know about the Arbonne 30 days to Healthy Living journey that we have embarked upon. He was encouraging, but stressed that for this to work I have to make it sustainable. So, ya know, that dredged up all of the past feelings of failure – not really dredged because they usually linger just below the surface. I know he is 100% right. Changing how I handle stress and emotions is going to be key. The same can be said for any addict, right? As an addict, we have to know what our triggers are, be prepared, and find a different way to move through the emotion or stress.

After my doctor appointment I went to the dentist. Why yes, I do like to fit in the torture all in one day. And, oh boy was it torture! That is what I deserve though – I put my health behind the health of the other family members and did not go to the dentist for four years!

I then picked up my mother-in-law’s prescriptions at Wal-greens and was hit with major first world dieter problems. Valentines candy! Now I realize why yesterday was so much easier. I stayed in the safety of my own environment. I had purged my fridge and cabinet so there was no temptation staring me in the face. There was no avoiding aisle 5 today. So, I sprinted all the way to the back of the store, got the medicine, and sprinted back out to the car before the taunting voices of the chocolate gods got the best of me!

My neighbor came over as soon as I got home to kindly inform me that the sewage from our septic tank is draining into his yard. DAGGUM! Why didn’t I get some of that chocolate at the store??!? I know there will come a day when my emotional go-to will no longer be food. But until then, I have amazing chocolate shakes that taste like brownie mix!

Micah has been sick this week and I am feeling like I am getting the same junk. After dinner, Richard asked about taking Micah to urgent care and I just had a hissy fit. It was like I was outside of my body, watching this fit unfold and thinking “Who is this girl and what in the world is her problem?” I knew I was being irrational and witchy, but I just couldn’t stop. I stomped off to bed and they went to Urgent Care.

I felt awful - emotionally and physically. I texted Richard to apologize: “I am sorry for acting like that. I don’t know what’s wrong with me.” He replied, “I do. No caffeine. No sugar.” “Oh. Yeah”, I texted back as I sipped my detox tea.

Hopefully the mix of tea, elderberry syrup, thieves essential oil, and sleep will be just what I need to move transform from a beast to a beauty.