About a year ago Micah, Noah and I were looking at a photo album filled with Micah's baby pictures. Noah asked where he was in the pictures and I responded, "you weren't born yet." When we finished looking at the album Noah asked to look through his album. I had to tell him that I didn't know where his pictures were. He burst into tears and told me I didn't love him. Ouch! I have been racking my brain since that day, trying to figure out what I did with that SD card.
Today I went on my Snapfish account (which I have not used in a very long time) to start a project. Once I figured out my old password and logged on I could not believe my eyes! There in front of me were all of the pictures from our old computer, including and most importantly, Noah's baby pictures! I guess I uploaded them all instead of saving them to a card. I spent a couple of hours looking through them, sharing them with Noah - smiling, laughing and remembering.
My memories of their childhood are so fuzzy, especially Noah's. He often asks me to tell him stories of when he was a baby. Why can I only remember a few big moments? Things went by so fast. I was so depressed and overwhelmed. I was trying to be a mom, a wife, work a stressful job. I spent way too much time re-hashing mistakes I had made in the past and worrying about the unknowns of the future. I have spent many a night demanding my brain to remember! Hating myself for letting that precious time slip through my fingers and wishing like hell I could go back and re-live it all.
Looking at those pictures today, I could not get over how beautiful he was! (still is) He was such a rolly polly with the biggest chipmunk cheeks! In those pictures I can see his personality today - his peaceful soul, his forgiving spirit, his hiliarious sense of humor.
Today, I was given a gift.
No comments:
Post a Comment