We have found a new therapist for Micah. She asked to meet with just Richard and I the first time which was very encouraging. We had hoped to find a therapist who would partner with us and give us feedback on how best to help him. She met with us two weeks ago and after an hour (actually approximately 42 minutes, but I will get to that in a minute) she suggested Richard and I meet with her a few more times before meeting Micah. We agreed but slowly came to a realization. Meeting with us a few more times probably means the problem is not him….it’s us!
Ok, I will take ownership of that. This parenting thing does not come naturally to me. Me, the woman who paid $200 to a lactation consultant to learn how to do the one thing that is supposed to occur naturally between mom and baby. Parenting does not come naturally to me, especially parenting a special needs child. My pride was a little dented by what her invitation for therapy implied but inside I was thankful that someone had recognized our cries for professional help and extended a hand.
Let me get back to the reason why our first therapy session was cut short. The school has my number on speed dial and no sooner did we start diving past the surface, they sent out the “bat” signal. I explained that we had to leave to get Micah from school. He was banging his head on a window and refusing to move out of the middle of the hallway. “Ok, well I guess we are done here”, she said with a smile. We smiled back as if to say, “Welcome to our world.”
Micah was suspended for three days. He had thrown food in the cafeteria, thrown school supplies at a student, kicked a teacher, thrown over a desk and well, you know the rest. The kiddo pulled off the supreme suspension schedule. He got sent home that Friday. Monday was a holiday and he was not to return to the school until Friday. I do not understand what school suspension is supposed to be teaching the child, but that is a topic for another day.
One of the things we are working on with the therapist is getting Micah to connect emotionally to what he has done. We made him write apology notes to the teacher he kicked and to the class. You may think, “duh, that is lesson one in Parenting 101” but for Micah this task is exceptionally difficult. He has muscle weakness in his hands and does not grip his pencil the right way which causes a lot of pain when he writes. He HATES writing!
“Dear Mrs. ______, I’m sorry”.
We pushed. Why are you sorry?
“Dear Mrs. ________, I’m sorry for kicking you”.
We pushed harder. Why are you sorry for kicking her?
“Dear Mrs. ________, I’m sorry for kicking you. I know I hurt you.”
After a good hour I was satisfied with that. I think he connected emotionally….as much as he can.
“Good job honey. Now sign the letter – Love, Micah.”
“WHAT???? LOVE???”
“Dear Mrs. _________, I’m sorry for kicking you. I know I hurt you.” SINCERELY, Micah
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