Food is my crack, meth, alcohol, porn, etc. Most people can snack, go out for a nice sensible dinner, eat fast food on various occasions, and keep sweets in their home. Not me. One cookie turns into ten. A trip to McDonalds sets off a month of binging on fast food – breakfast, lunch and dinner sometimes. A pan of brownies have no chance of seeing another sunrise in my house. And a gallon of ice cream? Don’t even get me started!
You might be a food addict if:
- You are thinking about what you are going to have for lunch at breakfast, what you are going to have for dinner at lunch and what you are going to eat after dinner at dinner.
- You buy a candy bar (or 3) at the grocery/convenient store, eat them on the way home and then stick the wrappers in your purse so your husband and children won’t see them.
- Your first thought after the first bite of a fast food meal is….I NEED more of this.
- Every holiday, special occasion/event, spending time with your family or friends, and rewards for yourself revolves around food.
- You eat sensibly when out with your friends and family, but binge once you are at home
- You eat at least five “snacks” between dinner and bedtime – mindlessly returning to the kitchen.
- You want to eat alone…be by yourself so you don’t have to be held accountable for what you are putting in your mouth.
- You eat to make the emotion go away (whether you are conscious of it or not) and then you feel guilty and disgusted with yourself so you eat some more.
- You gain 5 to 10 pounds a month on a fairly consistent basis.
- You have said, on many occasion, “THAT’S IT…no more after this last ___________.” (pizza, doughnut, hamburger and fries...)
The reason each attempt ultimately fails is because I have not admitted that my problem cannot be solved by a “diet”, sheer willpower or even a “lifestyle change”. My prior attempts at weight loss and changing my habits have only placed a band aid on the real issue. Until I take the mask off of the beast that I continue to wrestle, meet it face to face and find its Achilles tendon I will constantly be defeated by this addiction. My greatest fear is that I will not rise victorious over the beast before it drags me to an early grave.
I have only recently been able to identify with the concept of my issue with food being an “addiction” while watching a reality TV show called “Ruby”. Ruby is a woman who, at her heaviest, weighed 700 pounds. She has been on a journey to not only lose her weight but also to figure out (emotionally, spiritually, mentally) how she became 700 pounds in the first place. Her story is very inspiring and I encourage you to watch or go to her website.
“There is a saying about how recovering drug addicts and alcoholics never have to take the tiger out of the cage. For the food addict, we have to take our tiger out of the cage and hold him by the tail three times a day (if we eat three meals a day). And this is what can make our problem with food more complicated than problems with alcohol or drugs. We have to deal with our "drug" every day.” -Ruby
So, how do I recover from this addiction while having to wrestle the beast every day of my life? I am not sure yet. I know that I have to figure out why I am addicted to food. I believe the reason is different for each of us. This blog entry is my first step….
“I have admitted that I am powerless over my addiction and that my life has become unmanageable”
2 comments:
I have all the bullet points but no solution either.
You forgot one: You can only stay on a diet when you are full.
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