When God Shows Up
and knocks my socks off
Last Friday I did some retail therapy and among many items of clothing, I bought a nice gray pant suit. I told Richard it was going to be my interview suit for when I am fired. Our Federal Review is coming up next week, which is the source of the majority of my stress. I have been burning the midnight oil trying to prepare and stay caught up on the rest of my work. The process has been exhausting at best and down right impossible at worst. So, I have spent many afternoons crying on my way to pick up the boys from daycare - wondering if it is all really worth it. Most days I think it would just be easier if they did fire me. Most days I feel defeated. But then God shows up....and reminds me that He sees beauty and purpose in the mess I call my life.
God has revealed Himself to me in many ways during this rough work season of my life. He showed up this morning in the form of one my workers. She walked and asked if I had a moment. She wanted to show me something. I said yes and she shut the door behind her. Immediately, my mind shifted to the negative and thought, "Oh this can't be good. She wants to give me her resignation." We have all been joking about quitting lately...but I didn't expect any of them to really do it!
We sat down at the table in my office and she pulled out a piece of paper. She said something to this affect:
You know that we are involved in a small group at our church. Well, our church is doing a series called "Where is the Love?". At small group the other night we discussed several questions. Through tears she said to me that one of the discussion items was "Share a time when someone believed in you even though you might not have believed in yourself." She looked me in the eye and said, "I thought of you and I shared with my group how you always believe the best in me and you are such a supportive supervisor."
Of course, you know my emotional self! I was right there crying with her. God is so good. He knows exactly what we need, when we need it - and He ALWAYS delivers. By sharing this with me, she believed in me even though I haven't been believing in myself. That's the beauty of loving each other.
Not only have I been struggling with work but also with other issues. By having this friend/co-worker share with me this morning - it put my whole day/week/month in perspective. I asked her if she would let me have a copy of her small group study notes. I have been looking at them tonight - I am supposed to be working, but I keep being drawn back to her notes and feel that I should share my struggles and these words of encouragement with you all.
Read I Corinthians 13:4-8
(Note: Paul says that love is "patient". Sometimes we're irritated or angered by others and we don't know why. Not all irritability stems from sinful or selfish motives, although irritable treatment of others is wrong. Much irritability comes froma love of perfection, a deep desire that programs, churches, meetings, structures, organizations, marriages and families can be run perfectly. A desire to run things perfectly can erupt into anger at people who et in the way of ruining that desire. Those who are easily irritated need to remember that perfection exists only in God. We need to love him and our fellow Christians, not the visions or expectations we have for perfection from our spouse, kids, boss, church or other people here on earth.)
*Give an example of a time when soemone was patient with you. How did it make you feel?
*Why do unmet expectations of what we want from our spouse, children, church, job, etc. cause us to want to give up on being patient in love?
*Do you need to let go of any unreasonable, unreal or unmet expectations right now?
Lasting love extends grace - Read Ephesians 4:2
Grace is often used in relation to God's care for us, but grace is also a relational term. The word means, "undeserved favor". All of us appreciate being the recipient of God's grace and grace from others, but often struggle when it comes to extending grace to those who have hurt us, disappoint us, or don't meet or expectations. To show grace to other people means we do good or show favor to those who have not earned it, deserve it, or paid for it. Grace is the foundation for our relationship to God and others.
*Discuss what it means to extend grace to another person.
*To whom do you need to show more grace? What can you do differently in your behavior to that person?
Lasting love expresses faith Read Galatians 5:6
A big part of expressing faith in others involves acceptance. Acceptance is vital to all of us. That means accepting the good, bad, strong, weak, healthy or broken parts of others. You may not agree with everything about the other person, but you need to accept the reality of who they are and believe in them.
*Share a time when someone believed in you even though you might not have believed in yourself?
*How did that trust and acceptance make you feel?
*Who needs the assurance of your acceptance, confidence and trust right now?
Lasting love expects the best - Read I Corinthians 13:7
"(love)....always hopes." Part of expecting the best in others involves truth telling. Loving people means seeking and doing the best for another. To be their best, people need to hear reality and truth and they must learn to take responsibility for what they hear. One of the most caring things anyone can do for their loved ones is make them aware of a behavior or attitude that is not good for them, for love, or for growth.
*Share a time when someone lovingly made you aware of a behavior or attitude that was not good for you and how it helped you grow.
*What are some ways to approach a person you love to make them aware of something that is keeping them from being their best? How can you check your motives when doing this?
*People need clarity when hearing truth. Give the person a path, direction and steps to take. For example note the differences in the truth statements below: "I want you to connect more with me and stop hiding behind the computer." That is global and vague. Compared to the statement, "I need time with you every day if possible where I have your full attention, eye contact, and we talk about our lives, stresses, and each other. When is a good time for you?"
Lasting love endures the worst - Read I Corinthians 13:7
"(love)....always perseveres." When the people in your life become unkind, self-centered, or destructive, they still need love. Not everyone deserves love, but everyone needs love. Again love is seeking and doing the best for another. Part of loving people means we seek their best, but we don't enable bad behavior. There can be people in your life at times who have been really hurtful to you and it may be in your best interest and their best interest to set some boundaries and consequences to guard the both of you. We are not to allow or promote irresponsibility or hurtful behavior with others. Boundaries in your life with these people protect yourself from harm and can help them to learn to take responsibility for their emotions and behaviors. So, do not confuse the grace of being loving with the license of being enabling.
*Share about a time in your life when someone didn't give up on you. What difference did it make?
*How can you show love by enduring the worst in others while keeping healthy boundaries in your life?
(NOTE: Background information taken from The Relationship Principles of Jesus by Tom Holladay, Loving People by Dr. John Townsend and the NIV Study Bible and NIV Life Application Bible by Zondervan)
John 15:12 - "My command is this:
Love each other as I have loved you."
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