An Attitude Adjustment

I can't afford a psychologist anymore, so this blog has become my therapy sessions, thus the babbling that is about to come. I would apologize for this, but hey, you are the one who chooses to read it!

We had such a great vacation that coming back to work was somewhat of a shock to the system. I came back to work after the New Year invigorated and what I was met with left me in need of a serious attitude adjustment.

My job is typically stressful but I would say that I thrive on stress. However, lately it has become an awful lot to deal with.

The tension in our office has been high and the morale low for several different reasons, namely the 5% cut in pay we have taken due to furloughs and the rise in health care premiums. (I would like to pause for a moment and state that I am very thankful to have a job, despite these issues and I realize that almost everyone is facing the same types of things or worse.) Although these economic changes have caused a strain on the budget I have been able to take these changes in stride, much more so than other changes in my job.

I am a big believer that change is good. I can usually become acclimated to change quickly and feel comfortable and confident in the work that I do. Lately, there has been so much change in my job I feel like I am a dog chasing my tail or a hamster on one of those darn wheels! It has become very frustrating for me to not know what is priority (because everything is priority and everything was due yesterday), to not know what the focus is, to not know what it takes to succeed, and to not know how success is being measured. Thus, my bad attitude.

I had a revelation the other day that my bad attitude has been cropping up in more areas of my life than just my employment. It rears its ugly head when I look in the mirror, when I think about exercise, when I binge eat, when I isolate myself from others, when I find myself unable to sleep at night but as equally unable to rise in the AM.

In my insomniac state the other night I found myself Googling and self-diagnosing. When I shared with my friends at work that I wasn't just lazy - I have Delayed Sleep Phase Syndrome, they laughed at me! I assured them that it was a legitimate syndrome as I had found it on the Internet and I had every symptom...well except for the fact that it is rare to be diagnosed in anyone over the age of 30.


So, what IS my problem? I am in need of an attitude adjustment!



I shared with my mom recently, that most of my life I have felt like I have been just surviving, instead of living. I want to live. In order to do this, I have to get a new attitude toward life, stop playing the victim, stop whining about why life isn't fair and on and on...



Life is what you make of it. Cliche - yes, but true.

You may ask how I plan to execute this attitude adjustment. I plan to...

...get up every morning, look in the mirror and tell myself I am beautiful
...put my makeup on, even on the days that I don't feel like it
...go to the gym and at least, walk on the treadmill (but I do have a 10k to train for - ACK!)
...shut my mouth at work about how much I hate the lack of direction and all of the changes - if you hate it, just wait, it will change. I have always been told "in the time you stood around bitching about it - you could have had it done by now." (thanks Gerry dad - see, I did listen!)

...take time for myself

...develop a good sleep pattern and bedtime routine

...attend Weight Watchers and do the program - for the LAST time!

...stop beating myself up about mistakes in the past and spend less time worrying about the future



I am sure I will add to this list as I go. God has been affirming this attitude change in me as these two songs have become my anthems (if you didn't already know - God speaks to me through music).



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k84adRm9u5k

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TTVGt9dNuHU